Describing Hallucination

March, 2014

Initial thoughts - I should probably go through the contextual things to find out the specific feelings I enjoy about the existing software, and try to get a better word - or maybe more accurate than, spiritual. 

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The hallucinatory experiences I’ve had need to be described too.

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In 2012 I had a quad-bike accident, and had Maxillofacial surgery on skull fractures - specifically around my eye socket. During the time I spent in hospital I had some experiences around specific drugs that I was given that gave me hallucinatory like experiences. 

One major experience came post-op. I am still unaware of the specifics of what I was given medicinally, but I had some strange dreamlike experiences that I haven’t had since, and that I attribute pharmaceutically.

I remember waking up in the hospital bed, and feeling like the universe was stretched tangentially - A feeling of being in an isometric universe. I saw myself from above, in a bed, but unable to move out of it. I was able to move the bed in 4 cardinal directions, so in order to move around - I could ‘roll’ the bed along the floors of this space.

The walls and floors were all a deep blue. They were only delineated at the edges, so I could find myself navigating the space quite easily - but the entire space was labyrinthine, so extremely quickly I realised that there was no means of escape from this place. Most of the time I spent here I felt deeply frustrated, and could not really get a hang on any particular means of exit. 

I met several people in this space. They were fractured beings, distorted limbs and facial features- strange. They offered equally bizarre means of communication to me - communicating in bizarre signs and symbols. I was viewing this situation from above my body, and could see the symbols spewing from their mouths. I couldn’t understand a thing. 

Another kind of experience came with some sort of blue-ish pill, perhaps by Morphine. When taking this I was visited by my brother and my girlfriend,  and at that time I was able to close my eyes - and experience a sort of ‘free-form imagination’ characterised by highly visual aspects. I remember having the feeling of something like ‘This is what imagination really is’ - a genuine surprise at never being able to simply visualise whatever I wanted to - in a truly heightened way.  I wonder if this experience comes with being relaxed, since I am sometimes able to replicate this by being at the liminal moment between waking and sleep.  

Those free form imagination moments are characterised by expressions being reverberated within the space.  For example, on the blue pill, I thought of faces, and on closing my eyes - my vision was filled with hundreds of faces, young, old, in a kind of tunnel formation like the hands in the movie Labyrinth.

Similarly - I’ve been in that liminal space and thought of carpets/rugs - and as I look around the space, carpets roll themselves up and track along the walls, like I’m painting with them. This is a similar thing to that feeling of reverberation, or kind of like a delay pedal - with objects in space.

Treating these experiences as ones to be poetically replicated is currently what I’m thinking. I also have in mind the Terrence McKenna DMT point of view, in that there are/these are realms in which we can actively communicate with other consciousnesses, so perhaps the real/unreal divide is meaningless for me. This connection with ‘the other’ would be what I would be trying to promote in software. 


Phil James